There’s something unexpected that’s been happening to me as the superintendent. I’m wondering if it happens to all superintendents or if it’s an ingrained part of the culture here at RCS. I’m wondering if it’s something I’m doing or not doing that’s perpetuating the problem.
I think I’m clear, honest, straightforward and forth coming with faculty, staff, students and parents. Nope–I don’t just think that, I make a conscious decision to be clear, honest, straightforward and forth coming. I notice in this position that sometimes I have a conversation with someone, they walk away from the conversation and then come back wondering things like “did you mean to say?” or “were you subtly trying to tell me . . .?” or “are you trying to end this program?” (I know I have friends right now reading this who are thinking “subtlety–Kim?”)
How does this speculation happen? “Say what you mean and mean what you say”–that’s it for me, words to live by. No subterfuge, no hidden agenda, no secret plans, no ulterior motives. It’s always worked for me through a zillion interactions, friendships and jobs. Why now do I get this sort of “assumed” intent? If you want to know something, ask. I’ll give the best answer I know and I’ll tell you if I don’t know. Doesn’t that seem like a simple, straightforward approach that works?
What would happen in our school system if every time we interact with someone: a student, a colleague, a parent, an administrator and/or a community member, we make the conscious decision to give that person the benefit of the doubt, take him at his word, and think the best of her? Base our decisions about a topic or an issue or a person on what we’re witnessing face to face instead of on what we hear through second or third parties? And if we wonder about a person’s motive or answer or action, we could actually ask that person for clarification instead of making assumptions or asking someone else. That’s how we’ll build trust and a solid RCS team.
We have an incredible school community with wonderful, hard working people who come here every day to do the best that we can do for our kids. I give my word that I will ask questions, consider lots of possibilities, analyze and research before making the best decisions that I can, with you. I also give my word that you’ll know what I’m thinking–just ask, don’t wonder or worse, worry. I’ll own my decisions, I won’t blame them on someone else, even though I do consider what others think in making them. I’ll listen to you and if you present a different point of view, I’ll gladly consider it. I may not do what you want me to do, but I’ll truly hear you. I’ll work hard to think the best of you, to give you the benefit of the doubt. And if I wonder if you’re bringing your best, I’ll ask you. No hidden agenda, no subterfuge, no working in isolation, no subtleties that I hope you catch. Direct, honest, straight forward.
Give me the benefit of the doubt and I’ll do the same for you. Think about that expression–when in doubt, we’re consciously deciding to give the other person the benefit. Sounds like a plan to me. What do you think?
Hi – I’ve been reading your blog for a long time, and I just have to tell you that I *love* this post. In my role as principal, I too encounter that “double take” from others, who either doubt you meant what you said, or read into your comments or actions things completely divorced from anything you meant. I wonder about where it comes from, as well. Unfortunately, I think it’s a sad outgrowth of people’s general distrust of others, and perhaps negative prior experiences, but boy, it can be frustrating!
Don’t loose heart. I believe you bring a fresh honesty to the position that I hope will have a trickle down affect. Just know that people in town are skeptical because that’s what they know. They’ve been kept in the dark and told half truths for so long, it will take them a while to lower their guard and trust again. Keep doing what you’re doing. You’re doing a great job.
Mrs. Moritz,
I think that being straightforward with the teachers and staff members in our district is a wonderful concept to have. Too often, we leave meetings and staff development days not quite sure of what the intention of those presenting was. If all of our administrators adopt this approach (or continue to have it), then I believe our district will really grow to benefit our students and community. I know I try to have this attitude with my students, but sometimes it is difficult. Thanks for the reminder that honesty is the best policy!
Katherine Beaver
I just want to give you a two thumbs up. I read this at the exact time I needed to which is now. There seems to be a lot of mistrust in people lately. Where did we lose that? Brainstorming is brainstorming, not fact. Listening is listening, not ignoring.
I do appreciate that someone is coming and talking to you explicitly. That would feel really good right now.
Thank you for your open, honest attitude. It is refreshing!!
Have a good day!
Margie–
What a great comment, thank you! I have wondered why I don’t receive the number of comments that I have had on this blog over the past three years. That’s one of the main purposes of the blog–so that I can learn from the Randolph Writes readers too. I really want to hear what everyone thinks when I present an idea.
I do feel good about the fact that often times people will email me directly with their comments. That works too.
Hope to hear more from you in the future,
Mrs. Moritz
Hi, Mrs. Mortiz-
I have been reading your blog for a while and noticed that few people comment- and I wanted you to not give up hope that people are reading and you have sparked much thinking and debate- don’t stop posting!
thanks-