Respectful Discourse

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I’ve been writing here since 2006 with a genuine interest in better communicating with our school community and also to provide a space where people within our school community can share their thinking with me. Oftentimes, I will receive a comment that the writer asks I not share publicly or a separate email in which the writer wants to keep his or her thoughts between us. I write and read because I want to be a better superintendent. If I ever reach the point when I’m working in an echo chamber, I will need to retire. The absolute worst leader I could be is someone who believes solely in her own ideas and decisions without considering the ideas of others within our organization and community.

I also learn from asking questions and believe wholeheartedly that we’re better together than we are alone. Collectively, our teams learn from one another, offer different points of view and make better decisions–if we listen to one another first.

This weekend, I received four comments from people beyond our school community that I haven’t yet posted to the blog. Over the past seven years of writing, I can count one or two times that I haven’t posted a comment and that was only because the comment was in some way laced with profanity or unjustly injurious to someone within the organization.

Why am I hesitating to post these comments? Well, read these excerpts of the comments to get a better idea of what exactly the comments are about, all left in response to this post.

Reader #1 writes:

I am thankfully not in your district, but I am appalled at your response. To consider a child who is abiding by parent’s wishes as insubordinate in regards to testing where there IS a refusal option, (Source: New York State Student Information Repository System (SIRS) Manual, pg 64). There is no given grade, no consequences for the child, or harm against the school, seems to really be pushing the extreme of the definition of insubordination. (Source: New York State Student Information Repository System (SIRS) Manual, page 64 and 8.) Don’t blame NYSED for this. This is strictly under your district. NYSED leaves it to districts to determine what, if any action should be taken in the event students are not tested.

I suppose that is what I find most troubling about your post, you are offering regulations provided by NSED, but not disclosing them fully or presenting the whole picture to the parents. I’m not sure what you expect parents to do regarding testing they deem harmful to their children? Sit back and just take it?

How is it you claim to want to work with parents, yet your post clearly states what it is believed parents cannot do, rather than what they can do?

Reader #2 writes:

Sometimes, standing up for what you believe in puts you in a difficult position. This is quite true. Some would say a student who refuses the test is “insubordinate”. I would say s/he is practicing civil disobedience to make a point that continues to fall on deaf ears!

Your post sounds like a warning to parents not to challenge YOUR authority. Many districts have been able to work WITH parents in a reasonable way. Apparently, under your guidance, your schools won’t.

Be a leader! Do you really believe the common core and the Pearson assessments represent quality education?

Shame on you!

Reader #3 writes:

Parents may not have a legal right to dictate what schools teach, but we sure as heck have the right to voice our displeasure when we see all of the crap that CC is forcing on our kids. We’re the ones who see first hand the negative effects on our kids. We’re the ones watching our child’s future getting bleaker and bleaker because we have politicians and special interest groups falling all over themselves to experiment and profit off of the games they’re playing with education in this country! When we see English class being turns into a political science experiment meant to brainwash our kids into the current political regime way of thinking, when we see the blatant disregard for the US Constitution and the laws of our country perpetrated by our politicians and educational leaders – we sure as hell have the right to fight back! YOU as educators and administrators do not have the right to bully kids and parents who disagree with you, to outright lie to them about what they can and can’t do. Giving a child multiple detentions when they’re exercising their right to refuse a test is just plain wrong! And they CAN refuse those state tests, kids all over the country are doing it. Why else would the codes and instructions for how to handle refusals be built into the testing instructions? And leaving a special needs child unattended in a hallway because they won’t participate in a benchmark test? Unconscionable!! And the teacher making disparaging remarks to that same child? Inexcusable!! YOU are the ones who should be vastly ashamed of your actions!

What bothers me about the comments left by Readers #1-3 is that it seems that they didn’t even read my original post closely. That’s why I commented on my own post to clarify—this is about a child being instructed to “opt out” on an almost daily basis during the regular school day. Refusing academic intervention services when we know the child needs help or in the case of a special needs child who is refusing to take the regular progress monitoring testing the teacher needs to make good instructional decision making. This wasn’t about the NYS K-8 assessments—I know the points being made about refusal of the NYS tests—but do the writers know that my response to opting out of regular instruction and testing comes straight from education law? I’m not writing this to use my authority or to intimidate. I’m writing to help explain why we have to respond to what becomes a daily distraction–a child refusing to do what the teacher asks.  And what teacher is making disparaging remarks to a child as Reader #3 writes? I’m lost by how much is inferred from one post.  

Did they even read my post? Or are they using this blog to further their own agenda? I’m glad people are fighting for what they believe in—I believe the discourse on common core AND APPR AND SLOs (because much of what’s being named common core, isn’t) is  good—but it is also laden with much bad information, emotion, talk of political agendas and attitudes that remind me of those espoused by religious zealots.

There’s room in the conversation for more than one point of view but the only way we will learn from each other is through a respectful analysis of the ideas.

What bothers me next is the apparent need for writers to attack me without even knowing me, our District, our practices, my character or what we stand for—who are basing their ideas on about 1000 words printed to add another voice to the discussions our community members may be reading in the popular press or frankly, on Facebook.  This is most apparent in the last comment that follows here.

Reader #4 writes:

Kim, Kim, Kim, … Parents Do have a right to refuse this corporate schlock you feel obliged to defend. We didn’t ask for it and neither did the teachers. Neither did you if you can be honest about it. But some very wealthy people tucked a few key politicians into their pockets and set about declaring an emergency in American education that they just happened to have the cure for, at a price. Well the price is steep, it’s costing us billions but the real price is it’s robbing our kids of a chance to love learning. It’s causing our kids to hate school and hate themselves. How many more Administrators are going to stand up to this and call it out for the child abuse it is. How many more blog posts do you have in your file before you realize you are on the wrong side of education, the wrong side of kids, the wrong side of history and ultimately, the wrong side of right and wrong. Trying to keep a job that asks you to defend child abuse must be a lonely futile endeavor. Any time you’re ready to stand up for kids and education we will welcome you into the light. Until then you deserve no support and even less respect. P.s. i know you won’t allow this through so I posted it on FB. Cheers!

What purpose is served by patronizing me from the very beginning and using my first name as if this man even knows me at all? And then calling me out about posting his comment? An argument is so much more powerful if made intellectually rather than emotionally. And why is it necessary to call my character into question to make the point? Is the only way that side of the argument holds true is by calling me personally into question?

I won’t use this blog post to defend my own character. That will only incite further comments placing me forever on the defensive. And frankly this reminds me of that person we all know who isn’t really listening to us in the first place but is instead just waiting for us to shut up so that he can voice his own opinion louder or more vehemently or by attacking us for disagreeing. I realize that in responding to the comments I may elicit more comments from them–some would advise me not to acknowledge the comments at all–but I have read about and thought about the ideas presented by these readers and considered our own practices more than the four readers can know from a blog. I cannot solve the national or state debate nor do I honestly have the time and mental energy to engage in an endless back and forth about this—with those outside of our school community. I trust that our own school community knows this about me and feels welcome to come in and meet with me or ask me to a meeting or to attend one of our community forums which include “Clarifying the Common Core”. Or talk to our teachers and principals, don’t just take it from me. As always, we want to be the very best we can be for our 1000 students and that includes teaching to the common core standards, which can be found here.

There are many sides to the changes in education today. Some needed and some not, and I’m guessing what’s which varies depending on who’s talking. What I can speak to is our district, our experiences, and our future. Much good is coming of all of us working together toward common standards and goals—in particular a clearer path for all children through our school that will lead to greater success as we make good instructional decisions for all.

Parental Rights and Public Schools

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With the “opt out” of state testing that has been discussed in the media, some parents may begin to think that it’s possible to “opt out” of other testing, curriculum or programs that they dislike in our public schools. I’d like to address the question “Do parents have the right to direct the public schools on what their children will and will not be taught, on what tests they will and will not be given, and on what books they read?”

While parents have the right to direct the education and upbringing of their children, it doesn’t mean they have the right to dictate what the public school district teaches (our curriculum) or on what programs we use for instruction or for remediation (ex. iReady).  According to NYS Education law and Commissioner’s regulations, as a public school district we are required to follow the state mandated learning standards.  New York State has adopted the national P-12 Common Core standards. These learning standards apply to all public elementary and secondary school students.

The NYS learning standards also apply to students with disabilities and those students who are at a risk of not achieving the learning standards must be provided and must participate in academic intervention services. The New York State Education Department has provided resources for schools and parents on the website http://www.engageny.org/.  Don’t believe everything you read on websites from across the country, please cross reference your information with the NYS education laws and regulations.

Parents do not have a right to tell the school what their children will and will not be taught and as public school administrators and teachers we cannot follow parent directives. We are required to follow the directives of the NYS Department of Education. When parents advise their children to refuse all testing or to opt out of parts of the curriculum, it puts the child in a difficult position. Students are actually insubordinate if they refuse to participate in all testing or in our use of the instructional program iReady/Ready which we use in our Math and ELA programs, just as is the case with students who refuse to participate in physical education class or any other part of our academic programs.

Please know that we very much want to work with you in the education of your children.  As a public school district, we have more rules and regulations that we are required to follow than you can imagine—but we do want to hear from you, to talk with you about your concerns, to be flexible in the areas in which we can be. If you have any questions about the many changes that we’ve had in the past few years in education, or about anything, please contact your building administrator or me at any time.

Welcome to the 2013-14 School Year

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Tomorrow morning our students return and it’s one of my favorite days of the year. Everyone returns with enthusiasm in whatever favorite new outfit they’ve chosen. And the best part is that I get to help our littlest ones find their classrooms. I really enjoy seeing our students return and watching the bittersweet goodbyes from parents bringing their child to school for the first time. Parents, please know that we will cherish your babies—that our teachers will love them and expect the best of them. And so will I.

At the same time, we will have high expectations for each child. We want our students, your children, to learn and to grow and to experience a positive yet challenging school year. Attached you can look at the opening day presentation I gave to our entire school family of employees yesterday. Randolph academic success is on the rise and we are working hard so that our students can be successful in every aspect of our programs. We look forward to working with you and we hope that you will also have high expectations for your child.

Why are our expectations for children so important? Here’s a personal example. My parents were clear in their expectations for me as a student—my grades had to be above a C. So that’s what I worked for, to get above a C–B’s worked just fine in my house.

We like to think every generation gets smarter than us, right? Our expectation for our own two kids was that they had to have their grades above a 90 average. That’s a higher expectation than my parents had for me and both of our children met that expectation every ten weeks. I remember quoting, “hey, to he (or she) who much is given, much is expected”—meaning your life is good, your brain is good, get to work! When our son was a senior in high school, he had to write a paper in which he spoke about his strong relationship with his dad for 90% of the paper and then on the last page wrote, “and I’m thankful that my mom had her foot on me through all of school or I never would have done as well as I did.” Not exactly gushing in it’s emotion for his mom, but hey–you get the point. He’s now a senior at St. Bonaventure on an academic scholarship that requires he maintain a 3.0 average. What do you think he maintains?

Please expect more from your children. I’m betting they can get there. We’re doing the same here at RCS and we’re expecting more of ourselves too. I’ve never forgotten something I read at the beginning of my administrative career, written by Todd Whitaker in What Great Principals Do Differently, “Great teachers have high expectations for students but even higher expectations for themselves.” I’ll work on everyone here at RCS having high expectations for themselves–first of all ME–please help us by working on having high expectations for your children at home–in school attendance, academic performance, behavior and treating everyone with respect. Deal?

Parenting Classes

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Something happened a week ago and I can’t get it out of my head. That usually means I’ve got to write about it so it’s out here instead of running a track through my mind. During a recent visit to the doctor’s office, I was in the waiting room when a mother and two young boys entered the room. Immediately these two little guys took over the office. They were running around, sitting in the middle of the floor, breaking up some small toy and throwing it around the room.

What was mom doing? That’s the part I can’t get out of my head. She sat passively and looked at a point on the wall without talking to, scolding or acknowledging them. I was quiet as long as I could be, thinking “this is none of my business” but when the older of the two worked feverishly to shove one of the pieces of the toy into his ear, I couldn’t take it any more.

I engaged both in conversation saying, “I bet I can guess what grade you boys are going into!” First and third grades, I got it right. Neither boy made eye contact with me (much like their mom). When I said, “don’t stick that in your ear! That’s going to hurt you!” The mother looked at the boy and then at me and I said in a friendly way, “my niece once stuck a lego up her nose and they had to go to the emergency room!” At least the young man stopped when I told him to do so.

Once in the examination room, this family was placed in a room next to mine and I could hear the chaos continuing until the physician’s assistant walked in and said, “stop that and sit down.”

I’ve been thinking about parenting as a skill set ever since. This woman was completely lacking in any parenting skills with no idea of what to do. We end up with children in a school system who have no idea how to behave because they’ve never been taught. I’m not pointing fingers at her, I’m saying she appeared to have no skills as a parent, much like I have no carpentry skills. Only I can hire a carpenter to build something correctly and in her case, she can’t hire anyone and it’s her children who suffer.

I’ve certainly known over-indulgent parents in my work and personal life, this was something beyond indulgence. Goodness knows we all parent differently. There’s nothing that says my way of parenting is better than someone else’s. But my own mother did a really good job and the proof is in her two productive children who have loving families and pretty good kids too. Somehow along the way my role models figured it out and I parented the way I’d learned from example. What about this woman and the others like her? Who helps her learn what to do?

As a school system I would love to reach out to that mom and others like her. Not to say “I’m an expert and this is what you must do” but to say, “I know parenting is hard, I’ve got some experience and some ideas that worked with my kids—can I help you learn what to do with yours?” No parent EVER has done her child a favor by NOT teaching him or her how to behave in this world. Parenting is positively the most important job any of us has to do.

How do we reach those parents who are the neediest? How do they admit to someone like me what they don’t know? Do they even know what they’re doing isn’t working? Does it take Child Protective Services or the county getting involved? And even when the school gets involved, we walk carefully on that line of helping vs. telling parents what to do. I know our elementary counselor is wonderful at supporting our children and families but more often than not parents end up angry and feeling like we’re meddling in their home life.

To further complicate my thinking on this is my strong belief that I want the freedom to make my own decisions and choices without “big brother” telling me how much soda I can drink or which guns I can own or dictating exactly what education must look like at RCS. Does my desire to help that mom who looked so lost and alone and helpless equate to government’s desire to dictate everything to us?

I’d love to hear your thinking on this one! If we offered parenting classes in the evening, I don’t know who would even come–how would we get this mother to attend without insulting her?

Remembering Larry Wells and the PVCS Class of 1996

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I learned of the death of Larry Wells, a young man who I had the great privilege of teaching at Pine Valley in the 1990’s, via the local news and social media. Later this afternoon, I will attend his wake at a Forestville funeral home. I’m writing today to remember him as I knew him, not as the victim of a violent crime as has been widely reported.  Larry Wells 8th grade

When I was a young, first year teacher at Pine Valley Central School in 1990, Larry Wells was a member of my seventh grade class. As a Spanish teacher in a small district, I then taught that incredible class for four years to follow. If you’ve never attended or taught in a small rural school district, I’m guessing it may be hard to imagine what it’s like.

The students know each other, and all of us as the adults working with them, extremely well. I remember entering those classes with my teaching materials on a cart as I taught in various classrooms and had hardly a clue as to what I was doing. Clutching my college notebook, I greeted my seventh graders with the best that I knew–and it wasn’t enough. They were an energetic, close knit handful and I didn’t yet have the skills to teach them well. Luckily, I attended some excellent staff development training early on where I learned cooperative learning techniques. I returned to school the next day, took each class out into the hallway and said to them, “what I’ve been doing wasn’t good enough. From this day forward we’re going to re-enter that classroom and try something new”. They became accustomed to my efforts through four years of classes with me (what a privilege to teach them for four solid years!) and would often remark, “oh no, she’s been to another conference, here we go!”

This was quite a crew, heavy on boys who couldn’t have cared less about learning Spanish. They were all about football from long before I taught them in seventh grade and eventually the boys went on to win the Class D, Section Six Championship. Larry Wells was an integral part of this class and that team. When considering my teaching strategies, I tried anything I could think of to connect my content to football–including elaborate peer tutoring ‘games’ for review that I linked to football.

Larry Wells was one of the best of the bunch. And his wife, then girlfriend Jill Lucas, was too. Larry and Jill were bright, friendly, caring and involved in everything. They were never in trouble, the class couple, devoted to one another. Mostly they joined me in laughing along at the antics of their classmates. Who could resist the humor of Richie, Max, MJ, Michael, Brent, Shawn, Justin or Tim?! Josh Roth and Larry Wells were never at the center of it, but they certainly enjoyed the fun as much as I did. And Jill was blessed with a great group of girls in that class too–girls who were about the only thing that kept that bunch sane.

Larry and Jill

I miss that class. I’ve never known a group of students better or hoped more for them. In my mind’s eye, they’re all just the same as they were ‘back in the day’ at Pine Valley. And something like what happened to Larry should never have happened. Not to him. Not to any of them.

Working in education for 24 years now, I’ve suffered the tragedy of losing students. The loss of Larry Wells to his family, to his coworkers, and to his friends is devastating. For the family that we were as a faculty and the Class of 1996, we grieve too.

All of my love, thoughts and prayers to Jill Lucas Wells and Larry’s loved ones. You are not alone, we stand with you in honoring and remembering one of the best kids I’ve ever known, Larry Wells.

Does Our Academic Rank Matter?

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It matters to me. Always has, especially when I hear colleagues discuss why it shouldn’t. I don’t know why I wouldn’t want our school district to be as good as or better than similar schools around us? As a community Randolph is clear that we want to be the best in athletics and to celebrate our students’ success. Why wouldn’t we want that same excellence  academically that we enjoy athletically?

I’ve written about academic school improvement here many times before and as the superintendent, it’s my number one mission—to provide the very best education we can to each and every student while being fair to our taxpayers. We do so many things well here, with outstanding teachers, administrators and students, why did we sit in the bottom third of all 97 WNY school districts for so long?

As the superintendent, I research what our colleagues are doing who are more successful than we are just like a good coach studies game film. I also research what’s expected from NYSED and what’s working in the field. While I’ve made some mistakes in my career—I never fully believed in curriculum mapping as a real change measure and yet implemented it in Gowanda—I do believe our efforts at Randolph are paying off in terms of higher expectations for ourselves and for learning for our students. Our teachers have always worked incredibly hard  and this year they’ve been focused on data team meetings to further individualize their instruction for all children during intervention and classroom instruction. We’re also working together on our curriculum and raising our expectations at every grade level so that our students may achieve more as they move through our system. I’m so proud of our team and of our students for meeting the challenge!

Business First ranks all of the elementary, middle and high schools, and districts based on the past four years of NYS test results and Regents exams. Here’s a link to how the ranks are determined. No mystery, no magic. Just the facts on how our students fare on tests over the past four years. And I believe we’re good enough to get from the bottom third of the 97 school districts to the top third. So does our School Board and Administrative Team. And here’s the proof that we’re getting there after a decade of little to no movement in these rankings.

Our elementary school ranked 174 out of 281 which is up 28 spots from last year’s rank of 202. Our middle school results rank us 123 out of 208, up 22 spots from last year’s rank of 145. Our high school rank is 68 of 135, up 14 spots from last year’s 82. And even though we saw improvements from 2011-2012 in middle and high school, our district rank was stuck at 74 of 97. This year I’m delighted to say that we are ranked 59 of 97 WNY Districts, up 15 spots from 74 the last two years.

We are focused on the right things, we are taking what State Ed mandates and making it reasonable where we can and making it work for us. Our students will graduate having the same excellent education they’ve always gotten, but with even higher expectations and achievement. Thanks to everyone for getting us here!

As our BOE President, Dave Adams, said, “congratulations to you all as you all had an impact on this achievement. Continue the hard work and support all of your fellow teachers and administrators to make this a total team effort and we are confident that you can move RCS to even higher rankings in the years to come!”

 

May Mayhem

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What a mixed-up month May is in the world of school! It’s budget time so I’m immersed in budget documents, procedures, the public hearing, ‘Meet the Candidates’ night and the public vote/election. At the same time, it’s beautiful outside (at long last!) and I’m yearning to get outside in my gardens but have no time to do so. As we look to next year we are interviewing and hiring for our 2013-14 openings and we haven’t even allowed 2012-13 to come to a close.

We have spring concerts and events, awards dinners, spring sports and planning for next year already. And our Seniors! They are their own crazy mix of emotions. One day they can’t wait to get out of here and the next they are miserable to think there are only about ten school days left. They are sick and tired of each other one minute, already missing each other the next. We’ve been talking a lot about appreciating every day and savoring the moment. On some days I think they’re even listening to me!

May also brings the end of the year meetings on tenure decisions, development of class lists for next year and new–the dreaded portfolio reviews. Our local Marina is open in Onoville and we’re starting to think summer.  Prom is in May, with all of its pomp and excitement–and the Randolph After-Prom event which is completely organized and run by our parents–by far one of the best events of a high school student’s life.

If you’re the parents of a high school student, especially Seniors, hold them a little tighter as they struggle to break free for the next phase of life. The summer before our own son left for college wasn’t my favorite. He was stretching his wings at the same time that I hated to see him go; his departure for college brought that “empty nest” to our home. Hang in there Mom and Dad–this too shall pass!

Vandalism

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Vandalism. Senior Pranks that cause damage. Graffiti. Why is any of it necessary?

Last night, the mural that our students and Art teachers created in Town was vandalized. This happened along with the vandalism of some of our local churches. Vandalism is a problem that I cannot get my head around. I understand that those who commit the act aren’t worried about the costs to repair, replace or clean the damage. But I don’t understand what they hope to gain?

What’s the vandalism about in the mind of the person committing it? Is it done out of anger? Boredom? Spite? Mischief? Jealousy? Hate?

From where I stand, vandalism feels very hurtful. Perhaps that’s the intention, to hurt others? But why then? We have students and teachers who gave freely of their own time to try to do something good for our Town, why would anyone want to hurt them? It’s so senseless. I try really hard to listen and understand and think about the other person’s point of view but in this case I truly cannot understand. It  makes me very sad. What is lacking in the people who deliberately destroy the property of others? What need does that act feed in them?

What’s the point?

On a similar topic, I’ve always hated senior pranks for the same reasons. Maybe they start in good fun, but I’ve seen students get carried away with them and do irreparable damage to their school and to themselves. And even when it doesn’t result in real damage–who do they think has to clean up the messes left behind? Some good hard working cleaner or custodian who doesn’t deserve that extra load in their work day, that’s who. For those of us who work in education and strive every day to make school a better place and to make sure every student feels valued and cared about—vandalism and senior pranks gone awry are just a big slap in the face.

 

What Are The Most Important “First Steps” A New Superintendent Should Take?

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Here’s another question from the NYS Superintendent Development Program. Anyone else out there want to add a few bits of advice for our new colleagues?

What are the most important “first-steps” a superintendent should take in a new district? First position?

Is it enough for me to just say “shut up and listen”? That’s largely what I would recommend. Okay, don’t shut up but instead use the time in the conversation when you’re talking to ask good questions. This is a time to learn as much about the organization as possible. Try hard to check your assumptions at the door, to listen to EVERYONE not just those who clamor to put their words in your ear first. Keep your door open and take time for anyone willing to walk through it.

Everyone will tell you that the first steps you take should be to build relationships with people. Getting to know everyone in the organization is important, most especially your BOE members, Admin Team and union leadership. Again, listen and learn. Every organization is unique and if you’re going to lead effectively, you’ve got to give and earn respect. That comes only one way that I know and that’s by telling the truth and following through on your word. Do both consistently. 

Work hard to shut up about two things. 1. Your previous school. Saying “at ___________ District” may be your point of reference but it doesn’t get you far with those in your new district. 2. Your judgment of the previous superintendent. It’s not helpful to pass judgment on the decisions made before you were there. You’re just like everyone else who’s Monday morning quarterbacking her decisions–you weren’t there, you don’t have all of the information she did and you aren’t qualified to second guess her.

Learn the detail of the job by asking questions. Take care of yourself along the way. Don’t neglect your health, your fitness or your family.

How Do You Enjoy A Private Life While Working As A School Administrator?

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Today I continue the series of blog posts started last week in response to questions posed by students in the Superintendent Development Program.

How do you still enjoy your personal life outside of school, given that you are living in such a “fishbowl” environment? 

I’ve definitely had times in my 13 year administrative career when I didn’t do a very good job of balancing private and professional life. The first year in a new position, for example, can be disastrous personally. In my first year as superintendent, I was grinding my teeth so badly that the dentist ordered a nighttime mouth guard. Then I realized I was actually grinding them during the day, as I worked hard NOT to say or show what I was thinking all of the time. Let’s just say I’ll never be a good poker player so this is something I continue to work on every day. However now I manage it minus the teeth grinding. And my weight’s been up and down so many times that my brother’s called me Oprah.

Enjoying a personal life means working hard every day and then shutting it off when you get home. When we conducted the interview that led to these blog posts, we did so via Skype. Why? I declined the request to meet with the participants at their location. It isn’t that I didn’t want to talk with them but more that I didn’t want to give up another entire evening. By doing the interview via Skype, I was able to go home from school and get in an hour of yoga before the interview. I put taking care of myself first and saved myself another evening of arriving home at 9:00 and eating an unhealthy meal. I’m better the next day at work when I’ve taken the time to exercise, eat well and decompress the night before.

I attend games and concerts but seldom will you see me staying until the very end. It’s not that I don’t care how the game turns out, of course I do. It’s that I know tomorrow will bring it’s own set of challenges and that I need a good night’s sleep to be my best. I’m seldom up after 9:00 on a school night–I make getting a good night’s rest a priority. If someone at the game or concert is bothered by the fact that I left before it ended, I can’t control how they feel. I’m the only one who knows the demands of my job and being my best during the day serves the District better than sitting on my butt on the bleachers until the very end of every athletic contest.

Regarding the fishbowl environment, that’s particularly a problem when the administrator lives in the district. I’ve done it both ways. We live in Gowanda and when I was the Gowanda HS Principal it was much harder to go home and relax. I was ALWAYS the principal. At family gatherings, if everyone was complaining about something with school, it bothered me. I felt it was my responsibility to fix everything and so there I was, at a family birthday party, thinking about school. If I saw students hanging out on the corner late on a Friday night, I worried about them. I couldn’t jump in the car in my sweats and run down for an ice cream with my husband at 7:30 because the community saw me as the principal, at all times. Now when we want to run to Red’s for a cone, I’m just Kim–I can go without my makeup in my pajama pants if I want to. I like that much better. I still spend a lot of time here in Randolph, at work and buying my groceries and gas, our daughter lives in the District and we’ve just gotten a place at the Marina in Onoville. But when I go home, I’m just Kim. My advice to new administrators is to figure out what you most need to be mentally and physically healthy and prioritize so that those things become non-negotiable for you.