Accepting Feedback

Did you listen to your mother when you were growing up? Did you do what she told you to do? If your father even looked at you sideways, did you straighten up? Or how about your grandparents or a teacher? If someone gave me feedback, either constructive or when I had a “smart mouth” to my mother and that feedback was a smack in that same mouth—I paid attention. I listened and learned. I didn’t necessarily like it, but I did whatever it was that I was supposed to do. And I got a LOT of feedback, no one in our family held back. If I had a serious mis-step, someone pointed it out to me. Thank goodness.

When I started working at fifteen, I listened to my boss. I followed instructions. I did what they wanted me to do as their employee and I tried my best. Every day. Every job. From sweeping the parking lots at 7/11 to unloading the truck at CVS to following the NYS learning standards and teaching my best lessons to completing assignments on time as an administrator–I did what was expected of me and then some. After all, that’s what my parents taught me to do in the world.

There’s got to be a direct correlation, and I know I’m generalizing, between how we’re parented and what kind of employees we become. If you have expectations for your children and you teach them how to act in the world and if you teach them responsibility and accountability, they will also make good employees one day—at every level of an organization.

If you teach them that they’re so special they don’t have to follow the same ‘rules’ as everyone else, if you fight every battle for them, if you give them a sense of entitlement, if you NEVER correct them—they will make for spoiled, entitled employees who don’t see that they have to meet the same expectations as everyone else. And I doubt they’ll make for good spouses or friends or parents either. And they’ll not even hear any constructive criticism or feedback or plan for how they can improve–because you’ve already taught them that they’re perfect so why should they have to change a thing about their privileged selves. Your children need you to parent them.

My mom always said, “no one is perfect and no one belongs on a pedestal”.  It’s a long way to fall when your kid eventually learns those lessons.

I am so grateful for our many, many employees who listen and who want to improve, who value the input of others, who are responsible and accountable. I’m grateful for all of you who work so hard, who already self reflect and research and analyze your practice. I’m grateful every time you listen to the feedback you’re given and then genuinely work to do what we’ve asked. And I’m most assuredly grateful to your parents for teaching you how to live successfully in the world!

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