Maria Shriver’s report, A Woman’s Nation Changes Everything, was published on October 16, 2009 and is down-loadable for free. I’m still not sure what I think about the full report–read it for yourself– but there are a couple of things that I just can’t leave alone.
The premise of the report is that it describes how a woman’s nation changes everything about how we live and work today. Chapters include among others: The New Breadwinners, Family Friendly for All Families: Workers and caregivers need government policies that reflect today’s realities, Sick and Tired: Working women and their health, Better Educating Our New Breadwinners: Creating opportunities for all women to succeed in the workforce.
I’ve not expressed my opinions on working women/mothers often. Largely I’ve been quiet because I don’t want to generalize or take away from someone else’s struggle, which may be real. So here’s my disclaimer, loud and clear, I am NOT generalizing or speaking of any other woman’s experience but my own. This is my personal experience with the topic at hand.
I don’t want anyone “creating opportunities for women”. I have thirty years in the workforce. Thirty, started when I was fifteen and have worked as everything from a sales clerk to a 7/11 manager to a secretary and then on to teaching and now administration. Throughout my education and in my professional life, I have never once been discriminated against, left out, eliminated or treated differently because I am a woman. Never. I worked hard and with ambition. I have gone after every job I’ve ever wanted, competed against men and women, and succeeded. Because of who I am as an employee/leader/thinker/problem solver–NOT because of my gender nor despite it.
Any talk of equalizing the opportunities for women is galling. I’m proud to know that I can now sit at the school superintendents’ table as an equal without ever having been given a hand up. I have succeeded on my own merit and would compete against any male or female superintendent who I know for a position, without hesitation.
Next, I’ve succeeded while raising two kids along side my working husband. We’ve done it together as a team, we sought out and hired excellent caregivers when our children were small and we’ve shared responsibilities. I can remember feeling guilty for leaving my kids at the same time that my sister in law got to feel guilty for staying home and not providing an income. Hogwash. It’s a personal choice that a family makes and neither is right nor wrong. How we work out the details is what makes the difference.
“Sick and Tired?” As far as my health goes, I would challenge that my involvement in the work force, my commitment to learning, my ability to set and achieve goals are the same qualities that get me out of bed at 5:10 am to get on the treadmill, exercise, eat right and make healthy choices. I also maintain friendships with other working and non-working women who all do the same things. We support and encourage one another.
“Workers and caregivers need government policies that reflect today’s realities.” And here’s what really has me furiously writing this post–the conclusion of Shriver’s report is, get this:
The academic research, anecdotal evidence, personal reflections, and poll results that make up this unique report all confirm that recognizing women now constitute half of the workers in the United States is only the first step. The second is identifying what we need to do to reshape the institutions around us. We can then begin to take the necessary actions to readjust our policies and practices.
Yep, that’s just what successful hard working women like me have been waiting for all of these years–GOVERNMENT policies and practices to help us figure it out because goodness knows we can’t do it on our own. ARGH! Perhaps our government should just mind their own business, something that could sorely use their attention.
Hey Lauren, I was reading your blog, agreeing with everything you were saying. Thinking about how I as a father think the same way as your father. I think that if you talk to most parents now a days, they will say that their daughter work harder than their sons. I believe this is a throw back to when women didn’t have the rights they have today. I told my daughter to never depend on any man for her survival. Fortunately, she grew up in an era where she, through her own self dertermination, went to school and landed a very good job. Where I disagree with you is your statement at the end. I believe that Self determination is taught from the time you are a little girl. Parents teach it to ensure that their daughter survive in what has been traditionally a male dominated world. In addition, self determination is a function of the government. I can have all the needed requirements to be successful but still not be successful if I grow up in a society where I am not allowed to prove myself. The road we end up on is determined by many factors, not just our pure will for it to be that road. In short, I don’t think self determination is genetic, it is learned in a society where you are able to learn it! Peace!
I for one, often wonder what it would be like if certain legislations were never passed giving women rights. I also ask my students that when I teach that area in my social studies class. The answers are amazing. They astound me! I know that without these legislations, women may not be where we are today. I am thankful for those women who put their blood, sweat, and tears into gaining rights for us. On the other hand, I can see Kim’s view on our own self-determination pushing us through life. Although I am young and have many things to learn in life, I work hard for what I have and what I want. I do it for the goals I have set in life and not because I am a female. With that being said, I once asked my father if he ever wished he had sons instead of daughters? This question was just for curiousity, you figure every father wants a son, right? His reply shocked me! He said, “Lizzy, I love having two daughters because they work harder than boys!” His response made me think. It made me think for a long time. Although we do not have the same strength as men (some do), we work just as hard or even harder at trying to accomplish the things that men do. Why though? Self-determination is not handed over to you by the government, it is something that you are born with. You either have it or you don’t.
Dan,
Thank you for reminding me of the crucial work that was done before me by those incredible women. I’m respectfully remain unconvinced that more government policies are needed to continue us along this road in 2010. But I will pay attention and remember not just my personal history, but this country’s history and the women who stepped up long before me.
Kimberly
As an American History teacher I feel the need to respond to this blog. I do not disagree with the fact that you have worked hard all you life. I do not disagree that you have fought your way up the ladder and did so with grit and determination. However, you did not do it by yourself. You did it with the help of Elizabeth Cady Stanton and Lucretia Mott who, from the time of the Seneca Falls Convention, fought their entire lives for women’s rights. You did it with the help of Susan B. Anthony who suffered imprisonment so that women could get the right to vote. You did it with help of tens of thousands of women who marched and protested from the 1850’s to the 1960’s. All these women had one thing in common. They understood that women’s rights could only be accomplished through government intervention. It is government “interference” such as the 19th amendment that gave women the right to vote. It was government “interference” that made laws about equal pay for equal work. It was the government “interference” that women could get maternity leave without losing her job. It was government “interference” that allows your girls’ soccer team to go to the sectionals thanks to Title IX. You have every right to be proud of what you have accomplished, but please remember how the road was paved so you could get there. There is still much work to be done. Women earn seventy five cents to a mans’ dollar. Think about this; how many women superintendents are there? If women make up half the workforce (and I’ll bet it is even higher in education) then shouldn’t half of the superintendents be women? I’ll bet you a dozen donuts that is not the case! I thank God for Stanton, Mott, Anthony and all the rest of the women who forced government to treat women equally. If it weren’t for them, we wouldn’t have you.
As an American History teacher, I feel it necessary to respond to this blog. I do not disagree with the premise that you have worked all your life, that you have fought and earned everything you have. However, I disagree with the idea that you have done it all by yourself. The women of the Seneca Falls Convention, such as Elizabeth Cady Stanton and Lucretia Mott would disagree with you. The women who fought in the Civil Rights Movement of the 1960’s would disagree with you. They understood that the only way women would ever become equal is through government intervention. You took one step closer to your superintendent job when the 19th Amendment gave women the right to vote. Your girl soccer players took one step closer to win their soccer playoffs when Title IX was passed. The women who came before you understood that someday Kim Moritz could be a superintendent of schools because of their hard work. Hard work toward political change. You may have gotten to the top, but the statistics still bare out that most women, even professionals, make seventy five cents to a man’s dollar. Who will help them, no matter how much talent they have. The “government” is us! We, through our government, need to ensure that all men and women are treated equally.
Just a brief comment. I’ve rasied four very successful daughters. Each know they can be, do, or have anything they want in life as long as they work for it, regardless of gender or anything else. It’s what you have in your head and heart that count in life, not what you can get from the government.
I am sure this one will generate some lengthy comments. I too started working at age eleven in family owned business. Everything I ever needed to be successful at any job I had I learned at home. “Hoe to the end of the row>” sticks in my mind comming from my Grandpa. Although I have worked outside the home most of my life, I did take off a few years when my kids were small to be a stay at home Mom, baking bread, raising chickens and enjoying every minute of it. I have done it both ways and know and love many happy, well adjusted children of working Moms, so no disclaimer necessary. I agree with much of what you said. As much as it applies to women, who are capable of making our own way…it applies to minorities, children from struggling homes etc…We only need the support of those around us…not direction from government to be sucessful and happy. I am looking to reading the full report..you have peaked my interest.
I love that this frustrates you. I have been working since I was 16 as a busgirl (which I hated). But – this is what drove my determination that I wasn’t go to do this forever.
I’d like to mention that job was at a private ski resort where you could easily see several people who didn’t work for everything that they have nor did they appreciate what they were given.
It was seeing how hard my parents worked and my early views of entitlement that put me in my current teaching position that I love.
My point is – if you’re just handed something, you’ll have no pride in it. Man or woman.