A Little Perspective Gained

Our son, Tallon, plays hockey for a 15-18 year old league in Fredonia, New York. This weekend his team hosted a tournament, the Aaron Gibb tournament, named after a player on the team who was tragically killed in a car accident last April. The team played really well, with 12 of the players on our team 18 year olds for whom this game was really personal.

They lost it in the championship today 2-3. As the mother of a rookie on the team, a 15 year old, I just kept praying that Tal would work hard, do his best, and NOT make any mistakes including penalties. The coaches and players for our team showed real class this weekend, honoring their former teammate.

The game was intense and I ended up sitting amidst parents from the other team.

Now anyone who’s ever seen me at a wrestling meet would tell you I can be a boisterous parent. I love the sport, I yell and cheer, I am definitely more engaged than during any of the other sports I watch. Today I got a little perspective sitting with the opposing fans.

We’re obnoxious as parents. Really. I don’t feel nearly as passionately about hockey, so I was quiet. But geez. These parents were yelling and swearing (I NEVER go that direction) and the woman seated with me had a small child with her. What’s wrong with us as adults that we become so engrossed in being a spectator that we lose ourselves?

Part of it is wanting our kids to do well so much that we feel “cheering” them on will actually have an impact. My kid just thinks I should keep quiet, that’s the impact I’m having. For me, it’s also about cheering louder for the kids who I know don’t have parents in the stands. But the parents who lose it, who pound the wall or swear at whatever, what is that?

I think I’ll work on keeping my mouth shut in the future, keeping quiet unless I’m positive the only thing I’m yelling is, “WAY TO GO!” Not sure I’ll get there, but sitting with the other side today certainly pointed out how stupid they look and consequently, how stupid I must look when I get carried away with the game. Something to work on, that’s for sure.

3 Comments
  1. I agree whole-heartedly, that we as parents can be quite obnoxious. I am sure I have yelled out something I wish I hadn’t, but, I also have learned my lesson by sitting back and just listening to what others are screaming and I am embarrassed for them and then for realizing is that what I have sounded like? Ugh!I might also mention here it isn’t only the parents whose behavior can sometimes be appaling, I have seen some coaches lose control on an almost nightly basis. I think to myself if this coach is screaming and yelling at the kids and the referees in front of all of us what the heck goes on during practices, when it’s just him and the kids? Next time your at sporting event, watching your child out there giving his/her best effort, just sit back, relax and take pride that your child loves what there doing and is having a great time doing it. If it helps to keep you quite do like I and some other moms do-bring a lollipop, it’s hard to yell out when you have a sucker in your mouth!

  2. There is something to be said about perspective. Being involved in sports and being a referee, I’ve heard so many people say so many really stupid/disgusting things. I’ve never been a very loud parent – I like to just watch. As a coach, however, I’ve been a bit loud – never swearing – but really done a job on a referee or two. However, as I get older and wiser, I’ve learned to focus on teaching my players what to look for and how to improve instead of worrying about what the referee does. You can’t change them anyway! I often don’t sit with other parents just because I’ve been on the receiving end of seriously bad parenting – hot coffee does hurt even when you’re wearing a helmet!
    I would like to ban parents from some sporting events, fine them for their obnoxious behaviour and video-tape their actions to be displayed on large videotrons and on commercials on tv. And we wonder why our children are struggling with doing right and wrong!

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