What’s Most Important?

My dear friend, Tina, lost her father this week and I attended the funeral today. The funeral was held about a mile from school and I was gone for about an hour and a half. I worried on the way over about being gone from school, if they would need me for something, if someone would criticize my attendance at the funeral. I rationalized all of this by thinking of all of the extra time I put in.

How dumb this was and what a waste of time and energy. By tomorrow, no one will even remember that I was gone, nor do they probably care. And my friend Tina will remember forever that I was there today, at her dad’s funeral, for her. That’s so much more important.

Somehow I’ve got to realize that my best is good enough. That I have to make the best decision I can, to do the right thing, and that work isn’t always my first priority. That the people we care about matter more than work. That we can balance it all, it just tips one way or the other from time to time. I’m learning, maybe I’ll get it right by the time I retire.

3 Comments
  1. I think you answered the question yourself when you said the staff wouldn’t remember (or care) if you were out of the building or not but your friend would remember for a lifetime that you were there to support her in a time of grief.
    I do have a couple of concerns about your comment however. Do you not trust your staff to “hold down the fort” while you are away?
    Most of the staff did not notice or care that you were away. They are professionals who are working hard to do their jobs. I know nothing about you or your management style, but if you are the type of principal who walks down with people silently humming the Darth Vadar music to themselves the school worked even better when you were away because everyone works better when the fear factor is removed.
    I think that is not the case. I will give you the benefit of the doubt and say that you are a good person and a good principal (too bad your kind is few and far between). That being said, mourn with your friend. Your staff did just fine and will continue to do just fine during future absences.
    Peace!

  2. The other way to view this is that by stepping out for a few hours on “urgent business of a personal nature” and perhaps entrusting someone else on staff to “cover for you”, you then foster leadership and spread the ability to deal with school based issues across the school. Your school needs to know that the place won’t fall apart in your absence – in fact, because of your effective leadership, anything that arises can be dealt with by others and sorted when you get back. Your decision was the right one, for sure.

  3. I was in the same place this week. I was posting about the younger generation and Snicker martinis (ummm!) and ended up talking about priorities. Tarah will not let me wait until I retire to figure it out. 5 year olds just don’t understand, and should not have to. It is amazing how much perspective a sad little girl can offer. How’s the remodeling?

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