G-Town Talks

It’s all over the local news by now, but one of our former teachers and advisors was sentenced today for grand larceny. The former teacher advised several student activities and coached during his years at GCS. During that time he managed to short our student activity accounts to the tune of at least $81,000. This happened a couple of years ago, was found by our central treasurer, Susan Rebmann, and confirmed by our own business office and outside auditors.

This all came to light in the first year that Sue and I were here, the 2004-2005 school year, so you can see that this man’s sentencing was a long time in coming. I’m happy he’s sitting in the county jail today instead of the story running on America’s Most Wanted. Thanks to the efforts of the NYS police and our own SRO, Jennifer Alessi, he was arrested when he returned to the area for a different court case in December. He’s been in jail since then and remains there after sentencing today, completing his 6 months of jail time which will be followed by 5 years of probation. The restitution issue will remain in the courts for some time. He will never teach in New York state again.

This has been a complex issue for many of our former students as they admired their teacher, advisor, coach.  I should say that they still do admire him as several students have continued to show their support of Gill. I think this support shows one of two things, probably depending on the person. One, the support can show that all of us are multifaceted individuals, bringing both good and bad to the table. Members of our school community who continued to support the former teacher must continually look to the good that they find in him. Two, the support may show that it’s easier to assume the school district was at fault than to admit to being duped by someone. Either way, each individual is entitled to judge the former teacher based on his or her own knowledge of the man.

While there are lots of reasons to justify, debate, argue or fault his actions, for me, the main injustice has always been that he took advantage of the very students for whom he was entrusted to care. Every day, we can find students working hard in our community at part time minimum wage jobs to pay for the many expenses of the junior and senior school years. Working at Jubilee or Rite Aid or one of our fast food restaurants to save up enough money to pay for the prom,  senior dinner dance, the senior trip, and yearbook. I hate that those same hard working kids paid more for many of those things than they otherwise would have because the fundraising events that they were also working hard on didn’t supplement the costs. Their trusted advisor and teacher instead pocketed tens of thousands of dollars, at the expense of those students. I find that reprehensible. That’s personal. It affected every student who fund-raised, bought a yearbook, paid for athletic gear, went to the senior dinner dance.

That’s why I’m glad he’ll never teach again, that he continues to sit in jail, that he’s paying the consequences of his actions. That’s why it was worth my time this morning to travel to Olean, to sit in the court room, to wait to hear the sentencing. For every student who couldn’t be there, I was, to hear him be held accountable. For every member of our community who bought a ticket to a spaghetti dinner thinking it was in support of our kids, but was really supporting this teacher, I was there to hear the consequences.

Valentine’s Day is an interesting day in a school. There’s just too much pressure. We have kids who have been dating and who sometimes have differing expectations and therefore end up arguing. We have students who decide this is the perfect day to show how much they like someone. We have students who feel ignored and wonder if anyone special will ever notice them on Valentine’s Day. We have others who hate the whole day and all that it represents.

And think about our younger students with all of the pressure of paper valentines. I always made my own kids give one to every student in the class, when really, they didn’t want to give one to every kid. And the “counters”–those students who walk around all day reciting the number of valentines they’ve received. Oh brother, what a pain in the neck those kids are!

What I like the most about the day are those kids who decide to go for it and surprise someone with their interest or affection. Now those kids have to take a serious risk. It’s never easy to reveal how you feel about someone, especially when you’re not sure if it will be reciprocated. But you’ve got to admire the guy who goes “all in”, buys the flowers or candy and puts it out there. Who the heck knows what will happen? The girl may have been just waiting for the boy to express his interest, she may be totally shocked by it, or actually a little put off. Hopefully, she reacts with dignity and kindness and thinks of the admirer’s feelings too. But the thing I love the most is the obvious sign of moxie, guts, chutzpah. That’s the guy I want on my side, the one who’s not afraid to go “all in” when it really counts.

What’s that expression? “Nothing ventured, nothing gained.” Too many people play it safe to avoid being hurt. My hat is totally off to guys like R.D. today. Even if he doesn’t get the reaction he’s most hoping for, he’s top dog in my book. I love a guy with guts. And making someone else feel valued and liked? Well, that’s NEVER a bad thing.

Our son, Tallon, plays hockey for a 15-18 year old league in Fredonia, New York. This weekend his team hosted a tournament, the Aaron Gibb tournament, named after a player on the team who was tragically killed in a car accident last April. The team played really well, with 12 of the players on our team 18 year olds for whom this game was really personal.

They lost it in the championship today 2-3. As the mother of a rookie on the team, a 15 year old, I just kept praying that Tal would work hard, do his best, and NOT make any mistakes including penalties. The coaches and players for our team showed real class this weekend, honoring their former teammate.

The game was intense and I ended up sitting amidst parents from the other team.

Now anyone who’s ever seen me at a wrestling meet would tell you I can be a boisterous parent. I love the sport, I yell and cheer, I am definitely more engaged than during any of the other sports I watch. Today I got a little perspective sitting with the opposing fans.

We’re obnoxious as parents. Really. I don’t feel nearly as passionately about hockey, so I was quiet. But geez. These parents were yelling and swearing (I NEVER go that direction) and the woman seated with me had a small child with her. What’s wrong with us as adults that we become so engrossed in being a spectator that we lose ourselves?

Part of it is wanting our kids to do well so much that we feel “cheering” them on will actually have an impact. My kid just thinks I should keep quiet, that’s the impact I’m having. For me, it’s also about cheering louder for the kids who I know don’t have parents in the stands. But the parents who lose it, who pound the wall or swear at whatever, what is that?

I think I’ll work on keeping my mouth shut in the future, keeping quiet unless I’m positive the only thing I’m yelling is, “WAY TO GO!” Not sure I’ll get there, but sitting with the other side today certainly pointed out how stupid they look and consequently, how stupid I must look when I get carried away with the game. Something to work on, that’s for sure.

We have a snow day today so my reading meeting is postponed until Wednesday. That leaves me with an unexpected “bonus” day to get some work done. I am spending the day researching grants. Not that I’m a grant writer. Not by any stretch. But I did attend a 1/2 day workshop and it is on my list of duties. I have no particular expertise, just this niggling reminder that’s constantly in the back of my brain that it’s the one thing on the list of duties in my assistant superintendent position to which I’ve not attended. I guess I put off that which least appeals to me?

I wade through pages and pages of possible grants only to find out we don’t qualify because we need a poverty rate of 20% and ours is only 16.95%. Or we need to fund 50% and I know we won’t make that commitment for that specific initiative. Or the grant application is so HUGE that I realize I’ll have to chuck all the things I’m most committed to in my work, just to work on a grant that I might not win anyway. I guess this is why people make a full time job out of grant writing, they’re qualified and expert in the job. Anyway, enough complaining, I’m writing this for a brief break from the grueling grant search, no sense talking about it the entire break.

This brings me to something that is really exciting. Check out the incredible questions our 6th grade Science students are asking on their teacher, Mrs. Phillip’s, new blog.

Is the balck hole another name for the galaxy? how many stars are in the galaxy?

do you know if there is globle warming on any other planet besides earth?

 some people say that if you go in the black hole its like a time portal.If scientists find a nother planet or living organisms what will we do?

hello…….i wonder if there is any other planets we dont know about????

when they say planets have rings around them what are the ring made up of?

how come we dont have rings around are planet?

Mrs.Phillips are there any living organisms out in space like aliens or parasites or even protists,fungis,monerans,human,and animals?

are stars reproducible?

How do scientists kno so much about other plants wen they never been there?and becuz its so far away they cant send anythin in space!! its weird

when there are star clusters what is the reason for that to happen?Do they cluster at a sertain time?are we going to be talking about how star clusters form?I think it would be a very interesting thing to do?GTG bye

Tell me those questions aren’t the springboard for an entire unit?! Tell me that kids aren’t as inquisitive as they once were or that they’re only interested in XBOX and television. Hogwash! These kids are stoked about learning, they’re asking questions that show some deep thinking, and they have a teacher who shows enough innovation and initiative to let them ask the questions and direct the lesson flow. Very cool stuff indeed. Much cooler than grant writing.

Cross posted at Leader Talk

As far as education professionals go, I’m fairly liberal in my thoughts about the uses of technology in our schools, specifically access to the web. On more than one occasion, I’ve talked about opening access so that our students can explore, create and learn from sources other than us. I’ve believed that opening access should come with a lot of discussion and education about the appropriate uses of the incredible wealth of information available that comes with a wealth of nonsense as well. If we don’t talk to our kids and teach them how to discern what is reputable and reliable, who will? If we don’t talk about Internet safety with them and social networking, will their parents be knowledgeable enough to get the job done?

And then I land on a student website that so obviously invites a problem, I’m left seriously concerned about his health and safety. A website where student creativity and expression includes way too much personal (really personal) information, including the student’s first and last name. A website with provocative pictures and details about the kid that leave little to the imagination. Information that’s accessible to everyone, friends, family, and predators.

As a school administrator, my first concern is to work with the parents to communicate the problem and to offer whatever assistance we can give. I find myself communicating a problem that I’m not sure the parents understand, with implications that are far reaching. How do we do more to educate our parents and students about the danger of this sort of personal exploitation while encouraging teachers and students to utilize all that is good about the web? In my experience, the response is often that adults conclude the web is a bad thing all together, because if its misuse in a case like this one.

As an adult learner, I have no problem discriminating, considering the source, looking at the possible bias. I have no problem avoiding the million and one websites out there that focus on nonsense. I don’t think blocking access to the web at school is going to teach our kids how to do those things. I’m certain that opening it up completely to students who are still developing their good sense and judgment isn’t the answer either.

Good parents pay attention to what their kids are doing on-line, just like they pay attention to every other aspect of their lives. Good schools need to pay attention too and as far as I can see, the lines are getting blurrier and blurrier as to who holds the responsibility for teaching safe on-line behavior. Neither of us, the parents or the school, can assume the other is getting the job done.  

It occurs to me that sometimes we (those of us in public schools) avoid difficult parents. This is absolutely the wrong approach. Difficult parents are tough for lots of reasons, but usually, the primary reason is a frustration with our school through a lack of understanding, their own bad memories from a personal experience, or our lack of good service.

The toughest parents are the parents I should be spending more time with in an effort to eliminate that lack of understanding or memory. They should see us as employees who are here to help them navigate a system that may be foreign to them, or worse, one in which they personally met with little or no success. Tough parents are often difficult because life is tough for them.

When I started in administration at Frontier Middle School, I worked with an incredible school social worker named Dottie Laettner. For many reasons, most of all her passion for families, I learned a lot from her in the year and a half we worked together. There was something Dottie said to me that’s never left me. 

Dottie said, “Kim, even bad parents love their kids.”

They may lack the skills, the role models, or the emotional stability to get it right. But they love their kids. Honestly, it seldom bothers me when a parent comes at me in a tough way because I’m always thinking, “she’s just fighting for her kid.” Our parents may not always choose the most appropriate way, but heck, I’m glad to see them advocating for their child. That’s the most important thing they can do, that and loving them, and if we’re getting it right then they don’t have to come in “guns a blazing”. When it is our mistake, we need to own that too. Difficult parents understand that we all make mistakes, what they don’t accept is when we try to avoid it.

cross posted at LeaderTalk

1980, Boy meets girl, talks to girl, asks for phone number. Boy calls girl on her home phone, they talk until someone else in the house demands use of phone. No call waiting, no cell phones, no caller id. Boy asks girl out on date, girl says yes. Couple talks non-stop in the car, on the date, on the way home. Face to face, chemistry found–new date planned, start of story; no chemistry–no new date, end of story.

2007, Boy meets girl, talks to girl, asks for phone number. Boy starts texting girl. Boy and girl text incessantly for days, bringing up every imaginable topic. Boy asks girl out on date, girl says yes. Couple has already used up all of the “getting to know each other” topics on text message. Couple has nothing to say on first date. Awkward, who knows if chemistry would have been found?

I think it was better in 1980. I’m glad I’m old and married.

I started reading the new Harry Potter on Monday and that’s all I’ve basically done in my free time ever since. This is why I’ll never be physically fit–instead of exercising I listened to my daughter swimming 100 laps while I read. 

I had to take our dog to the vet for walk-in hours and so I took my book with me. In a crowded waiting room, my kids will tell you there’s no way I would sit there and read because, well, it’s crowded with people and I enjoy talking to people more than I enjoy reading. Sure enough there was a young man, Dustin, who I remembered from Randolph, a woman who’s granddaughter, Courtney, just graduated from Gowanda, and a woman from Pine Valley where I taught for ten years who’s related to one of my teachers. Sometimes it really does seem like I know everyone and I truly enjoy talking to them, hearing how they’re doing, listening to them.

But my favorite part of the wait time was talking to two kids, a ninth grade girl and her eight year old brother. I had the cairn terrier as a draw but then they just sat and talked to me, open faced and open minded, look you right in the eye stuff and talk about dogs, school, becoming a veterinarian, video games. And then she saw the book. Her eyes lit up, she pointed and showed her mom, and we really got to talk then. Her passion for these Harry Potter stories and our shared interest was a terrific connection.

I drove home thinking about this profession of ours. How much I love that I have connections with people from three different school districts all made through working with kids. This is the most incredible and rewarding and brilliant profession in the universe–the opportunity to connect with kids and to care about them and to gain entrance into their minds and their hearts. It’s a sacred place to be, inside their heads and their hearts, and I treasure every moment. It’s those connections, gaining that trust to be allowed in, this is the secret to our success and I believe it with my whole heart.

I saw one of our senior “pranksters” today. He came in to take a test and apologized to me. We talked for a while. He was defeated and beaten. He’s endured county jail, the loss of friends, suspension from school and the loss of the commencement ceremony.

The day before the smoke bomb  he was a carefree senior enjoying his last few days of high school. His decision to be remembered backfired significantly. He called Friday the worst day of his life.

He made a mistake. He is suffering significant consequences. He shows remorse. He’s learning from his mistake. He’s figuring out who his real friends are, who forgives and understands, and who judges harshly. He is spending what would have been two fun weeks, the last of this time in his life, feeling as bad about himself as it gets.

But he’ll survive. He’ll pick himself up and move on. He’ll be strong and he’ll think harder and longer before making a decision. He’s still our kid. He still graduates with a diploma. He still has a future with hopes and dreams and potential. He’s just mixed in some significant regret. Most people I know have some of that mixed in.

I hope G-Town remembers that not one of us should be defined by just one day in our lives. We’re much more complex than one event. This young man must not be defined by one day.  I still see the whole kid and I still like what I see.

If everything goes well, of our 120 graduating seniors, we’re set to graduate 31 Native American students this year. Have to tell you I didn’t even think about that until a very good friend called me this week to say,

Kim, it’s being talked about on the Cattaraugus Territory that Gowanda is graduating a record number of Native American students this year, we think more than ever before in history. More than the other three contract districts combined. Whatever you’re doing, keep doing it, because it’s working.

This was from an extremely well respected member of our Native American community and of our Gowanda community. I have often shared my ideas and my frustrations with him because he was born and raised in Gowanda and he understands our struggles.

I didn’t think about the number of white or native american students because for me they are individuals, they are Devon, Terri Sue, Jamie, Morris, Jeremy, Evan, Courtney, Megan, and Presley. We’re still in the daily business, primarily my weary guidance counselors, of watching 30 students out of 120 who have some challenge between them and the diploma. We’re paying so much attention to the individuals that we won’t sit back and look at the group until we have to report data to the state.

G-Town, we all needed to hear my friend’s comment. With all of the measures that we use to evaluate “our success”, we can never forget that it comes down to Jeremiah, Cameron, Cat, Amanda, James, Alex and Brady. It comes down to them and the other 113 students about to obtain a diploma and a ticket to more opportunity.

On June 22, I won’t be thinking about our student achievement data. I’ll be thinking about the joy of standing in front of our community and congratulating each student as he or she walks across the field, diploma in hand. Some who did it easily without much help from us. Others who could incite back flips from me if I was capable.

That’s what I’m talking about!